Thanks for joining me!

Good company in a journey makes the way seem shorter. — Izaak Walton

The voice inside you that’s talking right now while you are reading all these words, what is that voice?

Is that what make us, us? Well I don’t know for sure, I’m no scientist; neither am I a writer and I am not even writing this with the intent for someone to read it so I guess this is just me talking to myself. Again. Or maybe this voice is who I am.

Since I’ve moved away from home for college, I have been very lonely and I miss mom and dad a lot, just like many more teenagers my age so I guess it’s pretty normal. I have learnt to always comfort myself about almost every situation now by making it sound or look normal to me weather I like it or not because I have really been so lonely that things have started to not even bother me anymore. I feel dead inside, nothing really makes me happy or sad anymore but strangely I feel hooked up with this idea of being alone and I talk to myself a lot these days that’s why I thought I should write my thoughts down, maybe. I was never this empty or lonely before this. I have lived a happy and happening life with an amazing group of friends and family members, this journey about life is what I am always talking to myself about so this what it is about. The things that happened and the things that didn’t or could’ve.

I really love my family a lot and I was a very emotional child when I was younger. I remember when I was 11 and my parents left me in hostel, which was the first time I was actually scared about something in life, I cried a lot. I felt alone for the first time in my life and I wanted nothing more from life that time than just hearing my parent’s voices and being able to hug my mom and juts wrap myself around her arms. I love and respect my dad a lot too I am not able to express it to him, I really don’t know why? There are a lot of times ‘I don’t know why?’ I am just blank and maybe it’s because everything has an end. Why do things need to end? Why can’t all this be forever? My major fear is not existing, and more than that seeing the ones I love the most, the ones who are the reason I am alive, not being there anymore. I can’t imagine a world without them. I remember the times my parents used to call me in hostel; I literally used to cry by just hearing their voices. Things that have happened in life have changed me in ways that I’m scared of being sometimes. I get scared about the idea of liking this loneliness. I just wish I could wake up in my bedroom in my parent’s apartment in Singapore on a Saturday afternoon after a late Friday’s “CHILLING NIGHT” with my friends and waking up to dad cooking his special chicken. Maybe just one more time.